Seeing Nate off - back to Texas!

Sending Nate off on Saturday early a.m. We look a little tired and road worn (alright, not just a little, but a lot!)!!!!

Pictures of casket almost finished

L.J. and helpers did a beautiful job. I think Kate has some better pictures, so I will try to publish some completed ones later. I thought those that couldn't make it to the funeral would like to see the absolute beautiful job they did. The plaque will go inside the lid of the casket.

Addresses

My dear Friends,
We are so appreciative of your love and kindness and prayers in our behalf at this time. My sweet sister Rozie had a great idea of putting our addresses here on the blog.

Leesa Wilde
P.O. Box 656
Jackson, Wy. 83001

L.J. & Jana Wilde
P.O. Box 4649
Logan, Ut. 84323

Elder Nathan S. Wilde
1744 Jenkins Rd. #813
Pasadena, Tx. 77506

Boyd Wilde
P.O. Box 1017
Jackson, Wy. 83001

Leslie Lindquist
P.O. Box 2245
Jackson, Wy. 83001

Mike Wilde
1030 Vitt
Ogden, Ut. 84404

Dennis Wilde
237 Moritani Pt.
E. Palatka, Fl. 32131

Those are the addresses of Larry's immediate family if you needed any of them.

The funeral will be Friday at 1:00 p.m. at the LDS Church. The viewings will be Thursday 7-8:30 p.m. at the LDS Church andFriday from 11:30-12:30pm. All are invited.

Any fond memories or stories

I am looking for some stories of Larry that my mind can't think of that would be fun to share. If you have some would you please email them to me at leesawilde@hotmail.com
Love to all,
Leesa

Heaven Bound!

I had just finished typing the blog about a hard day that Larry had had. For the last 4 hours he had finally been resting peacefully. Then while everyone was busy doing something and while I was sitting there with him and L.J. had just come back into the room, he peacefully took his last breath. He had a cute little smile on his face. We are so happy or him. We are so glad he is not suffering anymore. I know the Lord helps us let go when we have such love. Thanks to Terri Miller for being here and being my personal nurse and psycholigist. Thanks to Kate (my sister) for being here and supporting and cleaning up after us all and helping L.J. with the casket. Larry was such a tough man. His heart is so great and big. I know he is excited to be back in the presence of the Savior and to throw his arms around his mother and his sisters, Sherrie and Corinne.
We are meeting with the mortuary tomorrow. I will place the date and time for the funeral services. Thanks for all your love.

Today has been especially tough. Larry has been pretty much non-responsive. The pain keeps increasing. The doctor came tonight (yes, she makes housecalls and she's really good at her job, and she's really sweet). How blessed we have been with such good medical staff, in the PCU at the hospital, in oncology, in hospice. They have all gone above and beyond the call of duty. We have made some very cherished friendships. Anyway, the doctor put up the pain med so he can rest semi-comfortably. We pray that he can be relieved of his suffering soon. Above all, we pray for the Lord's will to be done.

Larry has taken a turn for the worse. He is now non-responsive, except to pain and loud noises. He seems to be semi-comfortable. We are taking every measure to make it so.
Nate got off on his flight this morning at 7:00 am. He arrived safely. A family from his mission that takes good care of missionaries emailed me tonight and told me that she saw him at a stake function tonight. I was happy to know he made it safely and is back in the swing of things.
We are so very very grateful to you all. You make us feel so loved and make things better.

Labor of Love

L.J. has been working diligently on the casket. He has had several helpers come assist in one way or another. It has helped him get it done faster. I took a few pictures today and thought I would share a couple. Nate is painting the engraved mural that will be on the inside.

Larry is getting closer. Less responsive than yesterday. I think they finally got the pain managed. He seems much more peaceful. Bela is keeping our minds on happy things, as you can tell in these cute pics. Thank you for all the comments and emails. They make our day brighter and help us reminise of happy times! Love to all!

We are so glad Nate gets to stay two more days. He will return to Houston Saturday morning early. Larry is continuing to decline. He doesn't really rouse now. Dr. Emmie Noblock and the Hospice nurse came today. They are wonderful people. Their goal is to help keep Larry out of pain (or as close as they can get). They went up again on the dilaudid and added more fentinyl patches. He seems to be resting more peacefully. Grimacing only occasionally. We are so going to miss him (we already do), but we pray for his release. We know he is going to not just a better place but a beautiful, happy place without pain.
I always knew he was a great person and was honored to have such a great man, but I didn't realize how many lives he has touched. Your outpouring of love and kindness is overwhelming. His giant heart and gentle spirit is leaving its mark. Thank You!

I have to keep reminding myself today is Wednesday. I have a hard time remembering the days of the week. I am so out of sync. Larry has declined more today. Less responsive tonight. Earlier today, though, he responded to certain visitors. Many of us have good conversations with him, with each of us asking the questions and he nodding or saying yes or no. A few brief whispered sentences. The pain medication was taken up more today. Breathing has been more labored tonight, but he seems to be resting nicely.
Nate got his flight plans back to Houston today. He will need to leave Saturday morning early. He has been so sweet and positive. He has been a real blessing to have here as well. Just moving Larry around, all I do is call L.J. & Nate's names and they come right in. Jana got back today from Logan. She only has 3 finals next Wednesday and Thursday and then she's done, so we are really happy to have her here. She is a great help.
I can't thank all of you enough for your support and prayers. You make our burdens light. And with all these prayers, I am sure that the Lord is sending many angels to greet him!

Much the same today. Pain is worse. We have gone higher on the pain medicine. Larry understands whenever he is conscious. He responds somehow most of the time. We actually got him up in the chair for a few minutes. It is so hard on him since only one position is comfortable. So the boys hoist him up and he sidles to the rocking chair beside the bed. Last night when he was having a talk with Nate, short little sentences of course. He said he wanted brownies. We got all excited. Kate brought over brownies this morning. I tried to give him a bite, all he took in his mouth was about 1/2 tsp. He still sips water, but that's all.
All those prayers have helped us so much.

Much the same, just little bit worse. He hasn't eaten anything substantial for 5 days. He's still drinking water though. The stomach is getting quite distended from the liver. He is only comfortable in one position. He wanted up twice today, that was the best part. He sleeps most of the day. He did rally around enough to have a good heart to heart with Nate. Nate will be heading back to Texas most likely Thursday. It has been so good to have him here. He is still "Nate" yet he has grown so much.
Jana went back to Logan to finish her classes this week . She graduates May 2nd. So Bela gets to spend quality time with Grandma while her Daddy and Nate works hard in the garage to finish the casket. What a true labor of love.
Pain is our main problem, we about have every other comfort under control. Thanks to L.J., Nate, hospice and Terri (my angel here on earth).
I just can't express my thanks enough for all the labor-s of love that are coming our way. My mind seems to be in a fog, with chances of clear skies. So thank you for keeping me afloat. I cherish the emails and comments. You are all such true friends!!

Sunday with family

Today was similar to yesterday, less responsive, with a few lucid moments. When family members came to chat and love Larry, some got no response and some got smiles and some got a sentence. He knows what's going on because as we remenissed, he would smile at the funny things. Lots of family came today. Oh, and lots of food!! Thanks to you who are making such wonderful food. It has made our burdens light and our tummies happy.

There was much to consider today. We had thought on Friday, that on Monday we would get the intrathecal catheter put in his back to help with the pain to keep him comfortable and to help his head be clearer, but after prayer and consulting with the hospice nurse, the oncology nurse, and my other great personal nurse, we knew that getting the catheter for the back would be harder on Larry, since he isn't coherent enough to walk or talk and the pain is so great when we move him. We are managing the pain with the IV and dilaudid.

We understand stake conference was great and look forward to watching it on DVD.

We just want you to know we are so grateful for each of your love and support. We feel the prayers. We are doing as good as we are because of those prayers and because of our faith in Jesus Christ and his atonement.

Just a few pics of Grandpa Larry enjoying little Bela and Little Bela entertaining Grandpa!

Today, Saturday, has been a little harder. Larry responds to those who talk to him. He won't eat anything, only drink a little now and again. It's good just to have family close and I think it means a lot to him to have these boys home. It's so hard to see him in such pain and we're doing all we can. I can't believe the blessings of having righteous priesthood holders in the home. The Gospel is truly a blessing.
This is Larry's brother Mike now, Larry is responding when we talk to him, but you can tell the pain is really taking it's toll on him. I have always known him to be strong and I think that really helps with what he is dealing with, but it's hard to see him have to put up with it. L.J., Jana, Bela, and Nathan are all here and Larry is very happy to see everyone, even though it's hard for him to communicate as much as he seems to want to. Several people have dropped off food which makes it a lot easier on everyone not having to prepare meals, I would like to say thanks for all of this as well as the the thoughts and prayers for Larry and the family.

Visit with the Doc

Well, it has been a hectic afternoon. Nate arrived safe and sound. What a touching reunion between Dad and son. He is here for a few days.
Dr. Ward and Judy Basye, the oncology nurse just came to Larry's room. Dad Wilde, Leslie (Larry's sister), Nate and I were there.
After talking for a few minutes, Dr. Ward talked about how with chemo, they had used their very best stuff first. There were a couple other kinds they could try, but best case would only give him a month extra or so.
Larry teared up and was trying to say something. Dr. Ward asked Larry if he was trying to tell him something and Larry said, "I just hurt so bad and want this pain to go away."
Home Health had just increased the amount of Dilaudid he was getting, and it still wasn't helping. He had been getting 6 mg per hour with the ability to bolus 3 mg every 10 minutes (or 6 times an hour)! They had increased it to 7.5 and 3 mg. bolus. So Dr. Ward turned to us and asked us what we thought and we all agreed that it was extremely (and I use that word lightly) hard watching him be in so much pain. We all know where he is going and that place is way better than here, but we just love him so much that and are missing the "real" Larry already.
It was agreed that we need to do hospice. Before we left, we talked to Dr. David Tomlinson, the pain specialist (anesthesia) and decided that Monday, we are going to insert an intrathecal catheter. It will pump the pain medicine directly back in the spine (similar to a spinal block). This will send the medicine directly to the sight, therefore, about 1/10th the amount of medicine and it will help him not be as groggy. So hopefully he will be a little more coherent and the pain less intense.
So we got Larry ready and instead of loading him in the car, it was such a nice day that Nate pushed him home in the wheelchair.
When we got to the house, Kenny Lindquist, Steve Genzer, and Nate, with Grandpa Wilde supervising and helping lifted Larry up the steps in the wheelchair. Thanks guys. Hope your backs are okay!
I think Larry was pretty excited to be home. He sat on the sofa for a while and just relaxed. Then just after we got him laying down in the bed, L.J., Jana, and Bela arrived.
Larry slept for most of the afternoon. But it has been such a great help to have L.J. and Nate helping Larry up and down.
As you can tell it's late and I seem to be rambling. I will try to add a couple pics.
Love to all!

Larry is about the same today. Sleeping most of the time, at least closing his eyes and resting. The pain has increased, so they are raising the medicine.
Nate is flying in in about an hour. So the bishop and I are heading out to get him. L.J. will be here by 3. We have an appointment with Dr. Ward, the oncologist at 3pm. Then we will find out what the plan is. I will post later tonight with that outcome.

Thank you again for your prayers and love.
Love to all!

First time doing this

Yesterday, I had talked to the Social Worker in Oncology. She asked if there was anything I wanted to know or needed clarified. I told her I needed to know when I needed to contact Nate to see if he wanted to come home before Larry goes. She called Dr. Ward (Larry's oncologist), and he called and said "Larry's cancer is very aggressive. I would say as for Nate, now is better than later."
So I called Nate's Mission President last night and let him know what was going on and could he talk to Nate and see what he wants to do. Later, Nate called and talked to me and was able to talk to Larry for a few minutes.
We are waiting to hear from his Mission President this morning to see what the plan is of when he will be here.
L.J., bless his little heart is putting his classes on hold. His professors told him he could take incompletes and come back this fall and finish them. He is busy getting ready to come home tomorrow.
I don't know how many of you know, but he asked Larry last fall if he could make his casket. What an honor for Larry to have L.J. do such a loving thing for him. He is just finishing it up so he doesn't have to worry about it later.
I have been so blessed with wonderful families on both sides and so many friends that have helped and supported Larry and me. Thank you all for all the love and prayers. We definitely feel them. The blessings are numerous. Each day, as we embark on a new issue, blessings flow right along with them.
As all of you know I am terrible about corresponding so I will try to keep this up.
Love to all of you!